loss.

Matthew and I just officially got laid off effective June 30th. We are quite shocked actually, and are not really prepared for this! For the past 2 months, since we got the initial pink slip notice we received...we have been trying too keep our spirits high, because everyone had said.."with 5 years in the district, you guys will be fine. They won't cut that deep." Well, decided at the board of education meeting yesterday, with a split 3-2 vote, they did cut that deep. They laid off 617 teachers. People have also said, "they do this all the time, you will get re-hired" when in fact, this hasn't happened since 1918. There is a possibility of being re-hired and maybe a good possibility at that. Especially if the governor's budget passes with voters and makes up for some of the deficit. The obvious answer to me, is we need to stop spending to fix the deficit, but that it not the answer that will keep teachers. I wonder how much time has been spent in classrooms by the people who make these decisions.

While we would like to say we are hopeful that we will be rehired, and maybe sooner than later...if I am honest, I am terrified. I know I need to be prayerful and trust because our Maker works EVERYTHING out ALWAYS, but the honest truth is I know this to be true, yet my stomach is churning with fear of the unknown. Both of our last paychecks come June 1st. I'm pretty sure our morgage lender is still expecting us to pay July 1st and August 1st, for that matter. We have to look for jobs, whatever that means. Our identities are partially wrapped up in our professions...because deep down we both LOVE what we do, and we know it is what we were made to do. I know there has to be more out there, and as much as I have joked with my students about working at Starbucks "if" I were to get laid off, I don't want to work at Starbucks. I really don't. I don't want to make people coffee, I want to change people's lives...young peoples lives (although I must say, I am damn good at making coffee-my barista skills are pretty stellar).

I find it ironic I am finishing my last 2 classes right now to complete my Master's in Teaching ad Learning, and I am being told I can't teach. I don't know girls. We can't sit around all summer with our fingers crossed, praying we get our jobs back. We have to take action and prepare for the worst I guess.

I love you all, and deep down Matt and I both know something will work out, it is still scary as hell. Anyone have any connections or ideas for cool jobs? I feel like such a hypocrite, I have always said I am such a believer in "when one door closes, another one opens" and I know it is true, but that cliche (for lack of a better word) kinda makes me want to throw up right now. I will keep ya'll posted on the haps, and keep on praying that governator works some magic with the budget sometime real soon. I just want to say thanks for listening to my heart right now.

love you--Whit